Clueless..

Hmm.. i dono wat 2 do.. sld i giv up or conti lik dis.. i reali dono wat 2 do.. i hav tried n wanted 2 giv up a few times bt i realise i cant do it.. i tried beri hard le.. i don giv up i feel so sufferin feel so upset n disappointed.. if i giv up i feel so sufferin n upset 2.. my heart ish so pain.. feel so suffocated.. my mind ish full of him.. dou hu understand wat ish gg on sure wil feel tt i sld nt carry on cos of de reasons dey noe.. i noe i sld nt carry on de.. bt som hw my feelin keep makin mi carry on wif my mistakes.. i bcom so irrational.. wat ish so good abt him 2 mak mi feel so obsessed abt him?.. i don even noe myself.. i feel so messy.. feel so fucked up.. everytime i try 2 b hard n harsh on him by nt replyin his sms bt in de end everytime i replied him.. i couldn put my self down.. i oways tod i m a ppl hu can tak up n put down easy ppl bt i thin i m wrong.. i m nt as strong as i thin.. i m jus tt weak.. i thin i hav fal deeply le.. so hard.. pain til i dono myself.. can i trust euu?.. r euu a ppl 2 b trusted.. r euu lyin mi?.. i dono.. i tend 2 blive ppl easily in de end oways got deceive n fal n hurt myself.. i dono m i 2 sensitive or m i rite.. euu r oways tt suspicious.. everytime i ask euu euu oways com up wif good reasons.. ish dose lies or truth.. i reali dono.. onli euu noe yrself.. hope euu dui de qi yrself.. i thin i wil giv up de onli i nid time n hav de enuf determination n will den i wil b able 2 do so ba.. do euu reali treat mi wif yr heart or r euu jus tryin 2 play wif mi?.. do euu reali love mi wif yr heart seriously or r euu jus jokin wif mi.. urrgh.. i feel so fucked n fed up.. jus lik a headless chicken runnin ard.. i nid a direction.. dou he ish unfair 2 mi bt i stil choose dis path.. i deserve it n serve mi right 2 b lik dis.. i m jus a simple gal.. i don nid anythin.. i jus nid som or yt time ish tt so diff?.. i m so sick of waitin.. euu oways mak mi wait.. disappoin mi agn n agn.. upset mi agn n agn.. i stil chose 2 4giv euu.. i m jus tt stupid.. tt naive.. i m jus tt utterly disappointed.. tt utterly tired.. tt utterly sick.. disappointment sufferin n unhapiness ish tt so much more den happiness n laughter.. Do euu ever spare a tod fr mi.. i doubt so.. euu onli care 4 yrself.. thin 4 yr own.. euu nv care 4 my feelin at all.. euu onli 1 2 b hapi bt euu dono i m sacrificin my self 2 let euu b hapi n end up sadness 4 my own.. i feel lik i m nth bt jus a toy or puppet of yrs.. hapi n free den look mi up don nid mi den throw mi aside lik no body business.. hu m i de hell 2 euu?.. i m hurt times n times agn by euu bt times n times agn i stil fal 2 euu.. i wil c hw it goes.. conti 2 go ahead or i wil turn my back.. wait til i hav collapse n i wil surrender de game n everythin ish game over 4 us.. i wil giv up.. tt de end n full stop.. i wish 2 b de old mi sa tuo de guo sheng huo..